At the moment I am strangely calm. I find this odd simply due to the calculated plans I have in place. Sadistic nature is one thing, but my humanity is challenged. Knowingly arrogant, I still feel I can block the sun by reaching out my hand to close around it.

Have you seen a red moon? It is the blood of my victims. Those who challenged me, defied me. Their hearts flutter uselessly to pump non-existant fluid.

I carve a path through crowds to find whatever, or whomever I seek. They stand little chance of winning, I have already disected their psyche - I know which direction they will run before even they do. And when I reach them, their skin will split open from my will, their heart will break.

Caged against the wall by my body, my arms on either side of her head, I will wait, watching her - until her knees give in and she falls into her place, broken, bloody and finally where she belongs.

Your own personal Jesus.

Assuming familiar roles - there is some comfort to be found there. Much like knowing what to do before the situation arises. There is a serenity in being in the place you most want to be, a warmth, if you will.

Some might find it dull, I find it…right.

That being said, I am still fighting my vicious nature to keep the peace. - but not constantly, at least.

Post: Age
Date: 5/13/2005
Paragraph 2, Line 3

“Until something or someone reminds me of them…suddenly it comes back in full, sharp detail and I am angry - Angry for allowing my feelings for you to manipulate my anger. Perhaps it is better for me to let go, but I don’t wish to. You’ve not bled enough for my liking.”

In case you needed clarification on my line of thinking.

It was time to remind you….and remind myself why I still want to choke the life out of you.