Violence
Pure and simple. An emotional death, tonight.
There is pleasure to be found in the situation in which I find myself. While I can ease some of this violence that is in me, at the same time, I can, however indirectly, hurt others. I have gotten to the point where I don’t care and am becoming increasingly reckless in my actions. Sick of this shit? Yes, I am.
Being analytical, I consider the various paths to take - any one of them will lead me to where I want to go, at least in the short term. It will lead to satisfaction. The problem is, of course, long term. Do I want to remain alone? Or worse, choose the second best. I won’t bother with love, that road is filled with pitfalls. I think I will focus on pain, their pain, their slow, bloody exploration of my abyss.
My will turns to hate. I will take refuge in my own devices and punish those around me.