I’ve got aggression in spades just about now. People that know me, don’t know me, avoid me. I know it, and some part of me enjoys the fact that they don’t want to push any button I might have. Perhaps it isn’t fear but instead well-intended caution that compels them to leave me alone, but it still resides within the same family and so, tastes the same.
I’ll bother to regret the distance it creates between us later when I’m less capable of violence.
It hasn’t been one thing that has set me on this road. Work has been crazy, life too and personal events have just spiraled downwards. I’ve pushed it all back until the frustration has manifested into this, an oozing sort of temper that just dares someone to light the fuse.
Doesn’t help that I’m just utterly without a vent - unless you consider a grueling workout sufficient. Sometimes it is, but just now all it does is increase the sky-high levels of testosterone that is, no doubt, feeding this frenzy.
I need my vent back. Things are finally settled, but now it is a matter of playing tag, catch and whatever other game there is to connect. It was so much easier back then…
As for you, readers, you’ve been forgiving of my distance, my sporadic postings, my increasingly less personal writing, eh, maybe I should start dating you.
~ snort ~ Dating your readers? That’s just precious.
elise
Comment by MangledTulip — October 3, 2008 @ 5:54 pm
I know this place of yours intimately well. Though I can’t claim to understand it, it’s plagued me for a while now. I sometimes turn around and stare into the sun; wondering how I got here. But here is where I am. Land of the Lotus-eaters.
Comment by eSSe — October 4, 2008 @ 3:47 am
Start? You have been dating us.
We get together late at night, or early in the morning, to share such intimacies.
As the song says, “talk to me,like lovers do.”
Comment by Liras — October 4, 2008 @ 10:53 am
*laughs* Well, you can’t date me: I don’t like typos and you don’t like dirty feet.
Though I think Liras has a point: blogging can be rather like dating … quiet assignations, alone in dark corners of internet cafes and spare rooms.
Comment by Beth — October 4, 2008 @ 5:55 pm
~staring oddly at Beth~ But doesn’t that mean we’re all dating each other, then? If that’s the case, some of you seriously need to start putting out.
elise
Comment by MangledTulip — October 4, 2008 @ 7:13 pm
Hey, months ago I suggested we ought to run off together.
Anyway, define “putting out.”
Comment by Beth — October 4, 2008 @ 9:43 pm
I’ve nothing witty to respond with, so I shall leave you with well-meaning and over-done condolences.
And a vague annoyance:
I can find RSS feeds for your comments, but not for your blog itself, and this makes me very sad. Perhaps I am just daft and cannot locate it, but it makes keeping up with your blog a touch more difficult than some of the other ones I read.
Comment by ashes — October 11, 2008 @ 12:57 am
Ooh! I found it! I feel intelligent now. Ha.
Comment by ashes — October 11, 2008 @ 1:04 am