My sister had canceled. Elsa’s pregnancy was proving to be difficult and whatever reason it really was, I knew better than to ask and start the emotional tide. Serene had the hormones, Elsa, the swollen belly.

I considered going back to the center, but unexpected movements weren’t met with much welcome, and I had places I needed to be before I could indulge in my carnal appetite. Hunger of a less exotic nature gnawed at my stomach as I pulled up to the heavy metal doors that shielded the center from the rest of the world and cut the engine.

The guard lumbered out with a Napoleon-esque air that tried, and failed, to be intimidating. He reminded me of a pigeon, all breast and strut, but was mostly feathers and stomach. I leaned out of the window, only to have the bright flash of his flashlight shine in my eyes. Another guard walked around and stood in front of the car.

I’d dealt with another set coming in, but this too, was expected, because Lily, in her infinite wisdom, had told me about the process. I doubted I would go to this trouble if she were any less than who she was. I remained in the car until the short guard opened my door and motioned for me to step out. His girth prevented me from doing some comfortably, and I doubted that was unintentional.

There were courtesy glances to the neck, but more out of habit, I thought, than the careful perusal that accompanied a government screening. A newly converted vampire would hardly be leaving the center in any sort of shape to be standing before them as calmly as I had been. I’d never seen one, thankfully, but the news was littered with the graphic details the modern human wanted to know about the beasts so recently “out of the closet.” To think, a few years ago homosexuality was a big deal, now it was determining whether you neighbor might eat you given the proper set of circumstances.

Dangers that were always present had only made themselves known to the paranoid public, and so assuming themselves omnipotent and masters of their domain was hardly an option when there were bigger and badder predators than the littering, chain-smoking alcoholic your grandparents called the bad apple. Lily might be mine, but I was under no disillusion that it was because she willed it so.

It really put a dent in my dominant ‘master of my domain’ streak. Goddammit.

The guard held out a little test strip that reminded me of the diabetes tests I watched my brother take when we were kids. I held up my finger and he pricked it with the gentleness of a German brick layer. I bled; the machine beeped, and a moment later, the gates opened out onto the street.

Sunset went entirely too fast these days. It was like racing against the clock some days. Traffic accidents went up, yet only the sadistic police officers actually stopped the speeders. No one wanted to get caught after dark, them included. For my part, I felt a certain sort of safety that was entirely misplaced. Lily could care for me, yes, but the chances of her finding me in time, were I to walk down the wrong alley, would be slim.

My foot went a little heavier on the pedal, and the resulting thrust of the car put my mind into silence.

****

Had I told you that I was a step away from the medical degree, the burbs, kids, etc? Well, I’d managed one before my life went into the tailspin. I opened the door to my home and went immediately to my sometimes-used-for-work office. I saw patients there, but only the less crazy ones. I didn’t want the ones ‘on the edge’ to have a clue where I lived. Don’t kill the messenger didn’t always translate to the brain when things began to click.

Lights flicked on, and the silence was eerie even for some like me, who spent time in the company of vampires. Just being at The Center was enough to brand me on the outs with some of the more fanatical groups of religious zealots.

The t.v. provided enough mindless din to keep back the tide of silence that loomed just outside the room. The blinds were shut, by more habit of bachelorhood and Lily, than anything else. Still, I didn’t make a habit of offering myself up for whoever or whatever might be watching from the outside. Locks didn’t hold everything out.

I sent off a few emails and scheduled clients for the next , all while throwing back the too greasy remains of a cow sandwiched between a mealy bun. Ahh fast food. I felt sort of guilty for not telling Lily about the change of plans, but it was something I’d rectify when she came over later. I checked the locks on the doors. Sunset had long since passed, and a new night was newly born outside. I was in for the evening, and it was just as well that Serene had canceled because it looked to be a newsworthy sort of evening.

I had a mild sort of intuition, but it had proven itself reliable. Lily, if she kept to her usual routine, was going to be another hour or two. I stretched out on the sofa and muted the television. I blinked, blinked, and a long minute later I slept. Lily’s image was the first thing I saw when reality faded into dream.

That was the last evening I’d ever sleep through. It was the last evening I’d wake up. It was the last evening I’d ever see with my human eyes.