Today was as expected.

My home phone is off. My cell phone is off. The TV is off. No music, no sound.

The only light is from this computer screen which will soon be off. I’m not even checking my email. I’m certain there will be something in there that will compel me to work. If I don’t know about it - I can ignore it. Ignore it until the morning when my ethic will again be renewed.

No evening jog. No dinner. Lots of water. Tons of it - I can almost hear the slosh of it when I shift ever so slightly.

So tired, but so unwilling to sleep. Perhaps not avoidance of sleep, but more avoidance of the long dark before sleep finally comes. I’ll meditate to calm my mind, but it won’t work. Shrewdness is the enemy when you are trying to escape - even temporarily.

I’ll seek my faith - not in prayer because I lack contrition and any ability to feel my words. No, tonight the strands will have to content themselves with being wrapped around my palm - the beads will feel the pads of my fingers, the warmth of my skin - but hear no prayer whispered.

I have nothing to say to Him that he doesn’t already know.